I am writing today to all of you with teenagers, young adults or soon to be empty nesters. Most of my topics are related to my faith but I’m also wanting to incorporate some “seasons of life”topics in my blog. Especially in regards to parenting. This one in particular I am writing to help you but also myself! This whole empty nest thing is no joke and I’m struggling as I know some of you have, are or will be.

I have been a stay at home mom with just part time jobs here and there a few days a week as they got older. I dreamed of being a stay at home mom with my kids and I don’t regret it for a minute. I loved it! But, it was by no means easy. Lots of chaos and pulling my hair out along the way also. Just being real. However spending so much time with them made it hard to know who I was when I was not with them. They were my life and all my husband and I did revolved around them and their happiness. And don’t get me wrong! I love that is how we lived our lives with our kids. Such a blessing! But I just wasn’t completely sure how to “be” when they started to grow up.

When my oldest son started middle school I was literally so anxious about him growing up I could hardly function at times. I cried so much. I was the PTA president at the elementary school so I was there a lot and got to see him often. His 8th grade summer he was gone all day every day for band camp. My anxiety grew as my days were silent with just my youngest and I at home. The time I spent with just my youngest, Ethan was a precious time but he was my quiet, independent one who was fine to quietly play alone. I missed the sound of brothers playing and goofing off. I missed the backyard full of boys playing baseball. I missed making gallons of lemonade and handing out popsicles.

But one day my perspective changed. I was talking to my big sister who had gone through these feelings with her kids. She said a phrase to me I will never forget and still hold on to today. “Embrace every season of their lives because every season brings new beauty.” I thought to myself, I am so sad that I can’t enjoy where my kids are “right now.” I’m mourning them not being little and I’m missing out on this new season. I am not present.

I still struggle with them growing up quite a bit but embracing the moments has been life changing for me. Because of my change in perspective I made it through four years of my son being at college. When he called our conversations made my day. Seeing him on Facetime made me so happy. Going to his concerts at his college, weekend visits. It all became so special to me because I was living in those moments and knowing more would come. Our time together was more special than ever as I could have adult conversations with him.

And this past May when Bradlee graduated my baby, Ethan also graduated and I was able to live in that moment and celebrate that day with him. Not gonna lie, standing in that football stadium where years of marching band occurred with my boy rocking his drums brought me to many tears naturally so. So many emotions, but I still reminded myself to not just look back in sadness but to also be present in that moment.

Fast forward to June, yet another milestone! Goodness, God put them all together at once for me. My son Bradlee married the love of his life, Liz. This one was tough! Knowing I was officially letting go as my boy became a man. He became a provider and a protector for his wife and the godly head of his home. How could it be that my boy is a man and a husband?

He and his wife moved two and a half hours away to study for their masters degrees as opposed to the hour they were before they got married. We saw them nearly every weekend so we sure will miss them.

My baby leaves for college in two weeks! Whew!

My nest will officially be empty. So obviously I am writing this to you as a beginner to this whole empty nest thing but I’ve already learned and pondered along the way to get me to this part of beginning to let go. I sure am no expert and still an emotional mess some days because I am living this season right now! I hope what I’ve learned so far will encourage you in some way. And I must give credit to my counselor who has helped me tremendously with this process.

This new season feels hard to embrace. I’m not going to lie about that. I don’t feel ready. But as I’ve seen time and time again, every season brings new joy.

I’m looking forward to making new memories with my husband and “dating”all over again. I’m so thankful to be married to my best friend so that we can journey this new life of ours together hand in hand.

So, if I can encourage all of you reading in any way by the story I have written here, I challenge you to let your kids grow up, let them spread their wings, encourage them and support them as they do so. It’s ok to look at them and say “Stop growing up!” “I’m so sad that your aren’t my baby anymore.” But follow that up by also grabbing those once little arms, looking into their eyes and saying “I am SO proud of you!” And although I will miss you I know God has big plans for you and you will do big things. Never stop giving hugs. They need them more than you think. Never stop saying I love you…

Your kids will always be your kids. They will always need you. That, I have found to be true. Just think of how you still need your own parents no matter how old you get or how old they get. The same will be true for your kids relationship with you.

I remember my son being so sick at college at his apartment. My momma bear rose up and I gathered the bleach, lysol, a casserole from the freezer, gatorade and some meds. I plopped in the car and drove to his apartment. I walked in the door and there was my big boy on the couch with his blanket pale as a ghost. I sat with him and got him and he said “Mom, thanks so much for coming.” I cleaned up and disinfected his apartment of course, as we moms do. When I left I cried, but it made me realize then that our kids will never stop needing us. Just in different ways.

Be intentional. Grab those opportunities. Accept change. Release control. Live in the moment. Have no regrets.

Parenting is a beautiful, but also a hard journey. Letting go is hard. Seeing them struggle as they face adult challenges is really tough. You just want to run in and rescue them.

But just remember how your challenges and hard times shaped you into who you are today. This, too will happen to your kids. Sit back with pride in your heart as you watch your kids leave the nest and become amazing adults ready to pursue their dreams!

From…a Momma who “gets it” and who is living it right now…