This is to all of you out there who have lost a loved one whether it be recently or in years past. To all who are feeling the pain of the loss and the moments your heart aches so much it hurts and you can’t even find words to pray.

I lost my mom to covid on December 23, 2020. Last year Christmas is pretty much a blur other than the wonderful time I still had with my husband and my boys. This year the Thanksgiving and Christmas season were hard. Along with all the other celebrations. But one thing I try and tell myself is that not ever moment of every day is hard and not every day of the season is hard. I laugh about a memory and days later I cry about it. I have days where I function great and have great days and other days I can’t hardly get out of bed and I cry off and on all day. Thankfully we can work through these days and remind ourselves that there are still precious moments in the midst of the grief.

I was thinking as I scrolled Facebook this Christmas season how there were parts of it that were nice when it didn’t exist. I remember when I lost my precious Grandma. I would see friends and family and they would cry with me and pray with me. They didn’t just put a prayer emoji on my post. So much was done in person or on the phone. And to cope I would play worship music and spend time with my family. I didn’t grab my phone every hour to distract myself. I also didn’t see all the “happy”in those days that is sometimes hard to see when my heart is so sad.

I love seeing everyones Christmas pictures of Mom’s, daughters, grandkids in the kitchen baking. I love the families in their jammies in front of the Christmas tree. I love seeing huge families gathered around the table with bright smiles only family can bring. I love seeing the presents ripped open. I post pictures of these special moments too…but I will tell you that behind the pictures that were taken in that one moment, there are a lot of days filled with pain and tears.

As happy as I am for all of these people who are my family and friends, some of these pictures sting. It seems everyone is so happy and having so many blessed times with their family when I have lost the happiest, most vibrant, full of life and smiles person in my life…my precious Momma. I remember so vividly all the traditions that I see other people doing. We have traditions started years and years ago with my grandparents that we were still doing with my family, plus a few more added. In recent years things had changed as some got married but so many traditions still remained.

If you are feeling the pain of the loss you have faced, please know you are not alone. And when you see all the families that look perfect and look as if they have had the most perfect Christmas and that they have the perfect big family with all the laughs and fun of the holidays, just remember these are moments. You have no idea what happens behind the screen of Facebook. Behind smiles, there are those who have still lost loved ones. Some of them have gone through a divorce. Some have had families split and have family members that are not speaking to each other. Some lost their job this year. Some are battling addictions. So try not to envy what looks to be so many perfect families. I know this has been a struggle for me. Maybe those smiles and photos are a way to cope and grab on to what they do have instead of what they don’t.

What I have chosen to do is to be happy for all of those families and be grateful for the loved ones they still have with them. I had my mom for 44 years of my life. I truly thought I’d have her so much longer. But I’m so glad she was my mom. She raised me so well and for that I am eternally grateful.

Christmas is over now. For me, this is the hardest part. I love every part of Christmas and family. And when it’s over I always struggle anyways. But dealing with the grief makes it even harder. But one thing is for sure I have the blessed hope that Mom is in Heaven and I will see her again someday. It wasn’t goodbye when she left this earth, it was “see you later Momma.”

If you have lost someone and you have never accepted Jesus into your heart, I promise you He will help you through the grief like no friend, family member, activity, hobby or celebration can do. He will give you such a peace and a comfort that I literally cannot even describe. It’s as if the more tears that fall the more He holds me. He is your Father and He will hold you.

Jesus has been my everything. I’ve known Him since I was 5 years old. But I can honestly tell you, I have never depended on Him so much and felt as close as I do to Him now.

My friend, fall into the arms of Jesus. Don’t try to walk the road of grief alone. Go into a quiet place with just you and Him and let Him comfort you.

Please feel free to comment if you need prayer as you walk this difficult road. And if you want to ask Jesus into your heart, just close your eyes, ask Him to come into your heart and comfort you. Tell Him you need Him. And get a Bible and a devotional book and He will speak to you through His word and it will be a guidebook on how to walk out your journey and also help you to have peace in this crazy world full of chaos. I use the amplified Bible and I highly recommend “Jesus Calling” devotional by Sarah Young. And then pray God will lead you to a church where you can be encouraged and uplifted by other Christians. My church family is one of my biggest life lines. I pray you find the church that God calls you to go to.

You are going to make it through this! Be easy on yourself. Lean on God. Lean on your friends and family and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Cry when you need to cry. Let things go and focus on getting through. It won’t be easy but you are gonna make it!

2 Corinthians 1:3- Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our trouble, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.